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My Boyfriend Has Herpes. What Should I Do? - TODAY

Q: My boyfriend has genital herpes, and he occasionally has an outbreak that appears as a sore on his penis. Is this when he is contagious?

A: It's when he is most contagious — but he is also contagious when he doesn't have an outbreak.

A quarter of U.S. Adults over 18 are infected with genital herpes, also known as herpes 2. But 90 percent of them don't even know they are infected.

The classic outbreak appears as a small, open sore or ulcer. The virus "maintains its residence" in a nerve root, and when it becomes active and reaches out to the surface, it goes to the area supplied by that nerve. That's why, if a lesion recurs, it does so in the same place time after time.

Not everyone with genital herpes, however, notices identifiable symptoms. Some have a very mild irritation — redness, tenderness or itching — which they attribute to things like insect bites, friction burns, yeast infections or "recurrent shingles" (even though there is no such thing). Others are completely symptom-free.

These are the individuals who are most likely to spread the virus, because they are likely to take no precautions. That said, about 70 percent of new infections are due to viral shedding — the period when the virus is most likely to be transferred to another person — by people with accompanying clinical signs.

Consequently, you may already have the virus. A doctor can determine this with a blood test for Herpes 2 (Ig), a type-specific immunoglobulin. If you are already infected, you won't be at risk for a new infection — you and your boyfriend already share the virus. But knowing your herpes status will tell you whether you are capable of infecting a future partner.

Many monogamous couples think that if they abstain from sex or use condoms when one partner has an obvious herpes lesion, the other will be safe. This is not so.

Studies that tested for the silent presence of the virus on genitals have shown that a person with genital herpes sheds the virus about 15 percent of the time. Half the shedding occurs just before, during or after an outbreak, but half occurs completely at random.

Even if the couple avoids intercourse during outbreaks, the approximate rate of transmission is 10 percent a year (if the man is affected) or 4 percent a year (if the woman is affected). In other words, in one year, 10 percent of women and 4 percent of men will get herpes if their mate has it.

Regular condom use can reduce these transmission rates by about 50 percent.

To reduce the rate even more, your boyfriend can consider daily anti-herpes viral therapy with Valacyclovir (Valtrex). This medicine keeps herpes at bay, clears it up quickly and appears to reduce transmission by 50 percent to 75 percent.

Still, there is no guarantee that you are at zero risk of infection.

The broader issue is whether, if you do get infected, herpes will ultimately harm your health. Although I don't want to trivialize this infection, in your general scheme of health, it probably will not. The major concern is that if you are pregnant and develop a new outbreak of herpes, the virus can be transmitted to the fetus, especially during vaginal delivery. What's more, people with genital herpes have a much greater risk of acquiring HIV if they are exposed. (It's theorized that the lesion causes microscopic breaks in the skin, allowing HIV to enter the body.)

Dr. Reichman's Bottom Line: In most cases, genital herpes is more of an annoyance than a true health threat. There are ways to lower the risk of transmission — and if you do catch it, it is both treatable and manageable.

Dr. Judith Reichman, the "Today" show's medical contributor on women's health, has practiced obstetrics and gynecology for more than 20 years. You will find many answers to your questions in her latest book, "Slow Your Clock Down: The Complete Guide to a Healthy, Younger You," published by William Morrow, a division of .

PLEASE NOTE: The information in this column should not be construed as providing specific medical advice, but rather to offer readers information to better understand their lives and health. It is not intended to provide an alternative to professional treatment or to replace the services of a physician.


Where Does Herpes Come From? Scientists Think They've Found ... - Bustle

We've known for a few years that the two varieties of herpes have had different journeys in human history, because herpes genes have been sequenced. One, HSV-1, has been around in human biology since before we split off from other primates. The other faded away, but was reintroduced back, and now Cambridge scientists have a theory about how that happened, and what distant relative was responsible.

In new research published in Virus Evolution, the scientists used geographic analysis and probability models to identify which hominid ancestors were most likely to come into close proximity with humans between 1.4 and 3 million years ago, which is the time period when herpes simplex 2 "jumped the species barrier," as it's called, or came from apes back into human ancestors.

The culprit, P. Boisei, was simply "in the right place at the right time," the researchers say. (Or wrong place, depending on your feelings about HSV2.) They looked at fossils, chimpanzee and bonobo populations, and where ancient rainforests would have flourished, to see where P. Boisei may have roamed. It turns out it's the most likely species to have come into contact with Homo erectus, as humanity's most direct ancestor is called, and given it HSV2.

The Cambridge scientists think that P. Boisei likely ate some chimpanzee or bonobo meat that had the virus, got infected, and later spread it to Homo erectus, either by having sex with them, fighting them, or becoming their dinner. (Yes, hominids including Homo erectus ate each other; modern chimpanzees are such effective hunters they risk wiping out entire monkey populations.) This sort of thing is called "cross-species transmission," and explains how diseases can pass between different animals, particularly something like HSV2, which, as you may remember from sex ed, is transmitted through fluids and mucosal surfaces.

P. Boisei has no relation to us humans, so it's not like various members of the family tree were chowing down on one another, but it's still a pretty macabre thought.


10 Best Herpes Dating Sites For People With HSV-1 And HSV-2

The dating scene is full of excitement, but for those dating with herpes, it could be much more challenging than usual. Dating sites for people with herpes are a great tool for those looking to find their happiness and the special someone even though they struggle with STD.

Herpes dating is far from unusual, and the fact they're successful is that herpes dating sites break all the taboos and help people find each other without feeling embarrassed about talking about it.

We live in an age when we could talk more about STDs as if it's a normal thing because, in fact, they are. The estimation is that half of the population has HSV-1 type, a minor shape of herpes transmitted only by oral contact.

The other type of herpes, HSV-2, is a bit more serious infection, with an estimated one out of six people struggling with it and only transmittable by sexual intercourse.

We're glad that people infected with herpes break out of their shells and decide to go out and live their life to their fullest- after all, we all deserve to live our lives happily ever after.

These are the best herpes dating sites where you can find people with the same condition that you can date with or find someone special to share your life with.

1. PositiveSingles.Com

PositiveSingles.Com is one of the most successful dating sites specialized for people with herpes, STDs, and HIV. They claim their success rate is far from any other dating site found online.

Besides connecting people and helping them find others for dating, PositiveSingles.Com has a support system that helps you out by advising on the next steps to take.

When you live your life with STIs or STDs, the support from the people that know more about it is something that you will cherish the most.

Members often review PositiveSingles.Com as one of the best sites for finding their true love, and they claim that their matching system will undoubtedly match you up with people with the same interests besides struggling with the same issue.

The site consists of 150,000+ members from the US with more male population than women. That ratio is around 70% male and 30% female, making the site biased more toward women looking to find decent men.

Sign up process takes you in rather quickly with his simplified application and terms of use you need to agree on before you're allowed in. PositiveSingles.Com requires you to state your condition to avoid any unpleasant situations with other members, and will later help you when you get matched with the person of your dreams.

We support the type of sites where you need to claim your condition as it will immediately break all the barriers between you and the person you're contacting- both will be more comfortable with each other when it's all out in the open.

2. EHarmony.Com

eHarmony.Com is one of the best dating sites in the US and one of the pioneers in the online dating industry. With 29,000,000+ members in the US, it's one of the sites with the largest member communities among other successful dating sites and apps in the country.

Even though eHarmony.Com is not a dating site specialized for people with herpes, it doesn't prevent it from helping them find their true love.

eHarmony.Com community is equally divided between men and women, both looking for serious commitments rather than quick hookups – that's perfect if you're looking to find a perfect match. Sign up process for this site takes a bit longer than it would with some other major sites, but it's all worth it after you realize making a good profile takes more information than usual.

The more you describe yourself – you'll have better chances of passing their personality tests that help the matchmaker connect you with someone with similar characteristics or interests. Their successful matchmaker guarantees that you'll connect with others rather quickly.

Adding to your bio that you have herpes is something that you should do at the beginning to avoid any unpleasant scenarios followed by not being completely honest. Keep in mind that eHarmony.Com will ask you to pay a monthly subscription. Even though you can use some features free, it's vise to invest some money and fully access the site's options.

3. MPWH.Com (Meeting People With Herpes)

Are you looking for a site specialized for people with herpes but with low fake profiles count? Look no further, as MPWH.Com is the best place you can sign up. MPWH.Com has a very strict profile confirmation process that filters all the fake profiles trying to troll others or snoop on them.

With 170000+ members in the US, Meet People With Herpes or MPWH is one of the best places for people with STIs to meet each other, provide support, and go on a date.

To keep an exclusive title, MPWH is only for those infected with any type of HSV and excluding all those with any other STD. Having the community packed with people with HSV makes the success rate of matchmakers one of the highest and you can rest assured that you'll meet someone to have fun.

Compared to some other sites specialized in herpes dating, MPWH has a low member base. However, their community is active and responsive, while many sites have too many inactive users but brag about having a large community.

All members are from the US, and hardly you'll find anyone from across the world and having to skip meeting each other in person. MPWH.Com is open to all types of people, genders, races, etc. It's like any other dating site where you find a vast number of people with different backgrounds.

Another great part of this site is that it offers a downloadable app for your mobile device – something worth trying out.

4. POF.Com (Plenty of Fish)

Plenty of Fish (POF) is one of the most popular dating websites. This platform isn't specifically made for people with herpes but it does give all the freedom to be transparent about it on your profile. This advantage permits those who understand and accept HSV-1 or HSV-2 ailment to mingle with others, which gives this environment a great vibe.

Being one of the largest dating websites, POF increases the chances of finding someone who understands your values and is willing to relate to you. It offers several options to communicate with potential matches, ranging from messaging and video calls to profile customization. Although it's not a niche site, the sheer popularity of POF makes it easy to find new acquaintances you can build meaningful relationships with. The site features a standard matching algorithm, but it tries to optimize for personal goals by matching preferences, values, and lifestyle choices.

5. OkCupid.Com

OkCupid is one of the largest dating sites together with eHarmony and AdultFriendFinder. With over 10,000,000 active users in the US, OkCupid has more than a solid community looking to meet and have fun.

Launched back in 2004, OkCupid has a steady membership growth each year, and many would prefer using it rather than dealing with some other platforms with similar options. Even though this site is open for everyone, and it's not exclusive only for members living with herpes, you can find much luck matching others with the same issues if you're open about it from the start.

When signing up for a dating site for the open public, always state in your bio that you're living with herpes before it's too late and you lose their trust forever. When you state that you live with any type of herpes, other members with the same issue or those not afraid of contacting you will approach you.

There's no shame in posting about your struggle with herpes on a site like OkCupid, and you should not worry about not meeting anyone that will have no issues about it. People living with herpes use OkCupid more than you would think of, and you should invest your time browsing it.

Besides your time, the site will ask for some money, as a premium monthly subscription will let you access all the features the site has to offer. You can use it free of charge, but the premium option is far better.

6. HSVSingles.Com

HSVSingles.Com is a great dating site for people with HSV-1 and HSV-2. It caters to those who want to meet people who understand the difficulties of living with herpes. HSVSingles.Com has a large number of functionalities ranging from profile creation, and sending direct messages, to elaborate search options where users can search and register profiles based on shared experiences and interests.

The site strives to create an environment that encourages comfort and acceptance, as it builds confidence by promoting honest discussions on herpes and offers help on how to manage your condition while in a relationship. HSVSingles.Com is a supreme choice for anyone searching for a long-term relationship with a full understanding of each other's health issues.

7. Tinder

This is probably the most famous dating app on our list, and it remains one of the top picks for those with herpes looking to meet new people. What's amazing about Tinder is that it has an enormous user base, which increases the possibility of people finding and accepting those with HSV-1 or HSV-2. It's not really tailored to people with herpes, but unlike some other apps, Tinder lets people state their health status in their profile, which definitely increases the chances of finding someone who understands your condition.

Meeting new people is a breeze and convenient on the app because of its swiping feature, simple contact exchange, and chat messaging, which all make Tinder super user-friendly. For herpes patients, the app provides a less formal setting in which you can be open about your medical condition and discuss it before you meet in person. Tinder may not be the ideal platform for people who want something long-term, but it's great for casual dating and forming new friendships with people who will be respectful of your condition.

8. MeetPositives.Com

With herpes and HIV, MeetPositives.Com is another site catering to people with STDs. It provides a safe and positive environment to meet people who are willing to form relationships with others with the same condition. It goes beyond just fulfilling romantic aspirations because MeetPositives.Com enables people to extend friendship and support to people who carry similar health burdens.

The site has both free and paid membership options. Paid packages allow members to create profiles, send private messages, and use some of the great search filters to find exactly what they're looking for. MeetPositives.Com also offers forums where members interact with each other by discussing their experiences, offering advice, and supporting each other. The atmosphere isn't judgmental at all and people are very helpful, which is why this platform is suitable for those who want to feel supported.

9. H-Werks.Com

H-Werks.Com is an effective site for those living with herpes, even though it's a little less popular. The goal of this website is to connect users with HSV-1 and HSV-2. It offers a private and safe place where people can meet with those who've gone through the exact same thing. This platform promotes the exchange of ideas between members and helps them form a support base.

H-Werks has numerous options for interaction including texting and forum support groups. Overall, it's a great platform for those who may feel confused or alone because of herpes since users can speak directly to those who understand their difficulties and are willing to build healthy relationships.

10. LOVOO

LOVOO is a social network more than a dating site, but you can consider it as both. With more than 70,000,000 users worldwide and 6,000,000 here in the US, it's one of the largest social dating sites in the world. Members love the idea of Lovoo and what it's offering to them, and their activity on the site is far higher than anything else on this list.

The most popular interactions are live videos and streaming, where others can rate you and express your desires for you. It's an innovative way of interaction but very popular among the members. LOVOO is an open community, and people with herpes should always declare their status in their bio before interacting with other members.

The site lets you use some of the free features, but a premium account will unlock much more than you can ever have by not paying anything. Customizing your profile on LOVOO is fun, and you will have more luck matching with people with the same interests and preferences at all times by answering honestly on the questionnaire.

If you're looking to try something new and have some fun meeting people along the way, you should try LOVOO as your next dating site.

Conclusion

Dating with herpes is not taboo anymore, and it's quite possible if you decide to use online dating sites like those on our list. If you're brave enough to try them out, soon you'll realize you're wasting your time sitting back and waiting for the opportunity to come to you.

Do what's best, and start your new life now.






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